How to invest in yourself even when you're scared

how to stop picking yourself apart in the mirror

Okay…let’s just go ahead and talk about it. 😮‍💨 This is probably one of the most common things I hear. “I want to book…but I just want to lose a little weight first.”

This comes up all the time during my sessions, and for so many of my clients, this is the reason they hesitate to do something like this for themselves.😔 Because having kids changes your body in ways no one really prepares you for. Not just physically…but mentally too. 🫠 You look at yourself and it’s like you recognize you, but you don’t feel like you anymore.

Ugh…let’s talk about it. 😮‍💨 This is something that unfortunately comes up a lot during my sessions, and for a lot of my clients, it’s actually the reason they’re finally choosing to do something for themselves. Getting cheated on does something to you…and not just in the way people think. It’s not only the heartbreak.💔 It’s not even just the betrayal. It’s the way it makes you question yourself. The way you start wondering what you missed…what you could’ve done differentl

This is a way to start loving yourself with out going to the gym or changing anything physically.

There comes a moment when the life you worked hard to build starts to feel… tight. 😮‍💨 Not wrong. Not broken. Just smaller than the person you’re becoming. 🫠

Let’s get one thing out of the way first: 🫵🏽 You don’t need to change yourself to be ready for a boudoir session. Not your body. Not your confidence level. Not your personality. ✨ If you’re feeling nervous, that’s normal. 💙 If you’re overthinking everything already, also normal. If part of you is excited and part of you wants to cancel, very normal. (actually canceling...not normal)

You can be surrounded by people and still feel unseen. 😮‍💨 You show up. You contribute. You hold things together. 🥹 And yet, something about you feels overlooked. Not in an obvious way. Not in a way that’s easy to explain. It’s quieter than that. 😶‍🌫️ It’s the way your needs are assumed instead of asked about. The way your presence is expected but not acknowledged. 😔 The way you’re relied on without being truly recognized.

Healing doesn’t look the way you thought it would. 😮‍💨 It isn’t calm. It isn’t graceful. And it definitely isn’t linear. 📊 Most days, it’s messy. 🌩️ It’s crying over things you thought you were done with. 😭 It’s feeling triggered by moments that seem small. It’s taking two steps forward and one step back and wondering if you’re actually making progress at all. 🧗🏽‍♀️

Let’s be real, babe… your camera roll is overflowing. Thousands of photos sitting in there, collecting digital dust. And you know what? They deserve so much better. YOU deserve so much better. 😭 Because here’s the truth: photos don’t belong hidden in your phone where you swipe past them once and forget. 😣 They belong on your walls, in frames, in albums you can touch and flip through, reminders of who you are and how far you’ve come. 🤩

You love the woman you've become. 😍 The capable one. 🥰 The reliable one. 🙂‍↕️ The one who shows up even when she’s running on empty. 🥳 You're strong in a way that doesn’t always get noticed. 🥹 Strong in the way that holds families together, keeps things moving, remembers what everyone else forgets. ✨

“Just be positive.” It sounds harmless. Encouraging, even. Like something you’re supposed to feel grateful for hearing. 🫠 But most of the time, it lands wrong. Because when you’re struggling, “just be positive” doesn’t feel supportive… It feels dismissive. 😔 It skips over what you’re actually carrying.

Okay, so I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately…what it actually feels like when a woman finally decides to choose herself. 🥰 Like not pretend choose herself. Not “maybe next month.” Not “after everyone else is taken care of.” No. I mean that moment when she looks at her life, takes one long deep breath, and says: “Yeah… this time? I pick me.”

Starting over doesn’t look the way people imagine it. 🙃 It isn’t dramatic. It doesn’t come with a big announcement or a perfectly timed exit. 😶‍🌫️ Most of the time, it happens quietly in the middle of a life you once thought would last forever. You don’t wake up one day fearless and ready. 😁 You wake up tired. Tired of pretending. 😪

You learned early that your body was something to fix. 😔 There was always a deadline. 📆 A season it was supposed to look a certain way. 🚤🌴 A version you were expected to become by now. ✨ By this age. 🔞 By this milestone. ⌛ By this moment everyone else seemed to reach on time. ⌚ No one said it out loud, but the message was clear: You’re running out of time. 🗣️ So you chased timelines. 📈 You compared your body to younger versions of yourself.

Let’s talk about what really happens during a boudoir session 🥰 because most women walk in thinking it will be scary, awkward, or overwhelming. 😓 But here’s what the Experience actually looks like: ✨You walk in nervous…everyone does. You’re wondering what to do, how to pose, how you’ll look in photos…Girl, I GOT YOU. 🥰

I don't need a new year and you don't need a "new" you. 🥹 I need a new day, new you. New hour, new you. New minute, new you. 😍 That’s how often you should be changing. 🥂

Confidence isn’t built in the happy moments it’s rebuilt in the moments you didn’t think you’d survive. 💙 And I say “rebuilt” because life has a way of shaking us up: 🤧 A heartbreak. A loss. A divorce. A baby. A health scare. A life shift you didn’t see coming.

If there’s one thing I hear over and over again, it’s this: “I’m too…” Too shy. Too curvy. Too small. Too old. Too dark. Too light. Too awkward. Too imperfect. Too something. Women carry the weight of “too much” and “not enough” like it’s part of their DNA like someone stamped them at birth with a label they now have to live up to. 😣